Poem 9

Ode to the Lost Boy
I was afraid of the spaces
You would leave in me.
Spaces I would fill with false intimacy
And paralysis. But you knew best of all
That I would fill them
And I have.
Malign if I deny
afraid this power would recede
long long before the need
But sadly, I can re-pen this day—and all
the others—beside you
I’m sorry leaving us is simple,
Impossible as it is to erase you
My love wanders as the compass does,
Clinging to paper suitors and poor substitutes
Had you only known you would
—blacken my heart—
Believe me when I tell you there are holes to fill
Heroes to stimulate, tears to wipe away
Believe me when I say:
The bitter rind of you chills my bones.
You once had bones…
But now there are spaces
Spaces to fill without you.
But you know best of all.

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