Poem 47 Editing

Pete and Repeat.

Did you ever play that joke when you were little: Two men on the boat, Pete and Repeat. Pete falls out, whose left?

It’s funny until it’s not, like many jokes are. The trick is to get to that optimal funny without going over and alienating the reader. But of course that idea can be applied to anything, eating pizza is also a good until it’s not activity… so there you go.

For this poem, the trick was to get the word city in there as much as possible without being too much. It’s also a short poem, so there wasn’t much to work with. I happen to think the word city is one of those perfectly portioned words full of fresh sparkling vowel sounds. I am a bit of a word junky, so that might explain that level of obsession in my work.

This poem began as the opposite of that. And I think it grew to be a happy medium.

In this review I want to draw attention to the use of progression in the poem. Though it is short, there is still room to fit the whole fall of Rome. It will fit. If you say it right, if you say it well, it will fit. I bet I can make it even more condensed next editing. Maybe i’ll get it down to just one word 🙂


Short poems are a bitch. They are hard to edit and even harder to bring in a concept. This poem was always about Rome. Bringing in more tactile images and realistic phrasing was the answer to the issues of blandness. Keep it short sweet and strong, like a shot of espresso.

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